Thursday, 16 December 2010

Weigh In #39

Another week another loss! I finally seem to be back on a losing streak and it couldn't have come at a better time. Although I'm not going to get to target for Christmas I'm finally starting to feel happy with the way I look. Which is a first.

I've finally realised that losing weight is a marathon, not a short sprint. Who cares when I get to target, as long as I get there! And get there I will. In mid January hopefully (taking into account the mince pies, crisps and cheese I intend to indulge in over the festive period), if not before.

I stretched in the mirror the other day and I saw the faintest hint of my ribs. I haven't seen my ribs for as long as I can remember and it kind of shocked me. I never want to get to the stage where I'm bony, that's for sure. Not that that will ever happen. I'm not one of those people who has stopped craving junk food as a result of eating healthily for a sustained period of time. I still want pizza on a daily basis. I still want to stuff my face with cheese and biscuits from time to time. I will never get too skinny because I love food too much!

My weight will always be a problem. I know this. I will always have to fight against my natural instinct to eat too much food of the wrong sort. I will always have to keep a check on my weight. It will never be easy.

I've made my peace with that.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 153 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1.5 pounds 
Total Weight Loss: 74 pounds
Target Weight: 147 pounds

6 pounds to go!

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Weigh In #38

For various reasons I didn't manage to make it to a weigh in last week. I've just bought a house and am run off my feet trying to get it ready to move into. Oh, and I volunteer at the Samaritans and had to cover an emergency duty last Tuesday.

Excuses aside, I'm slightly annoyed with myself that I only lost 1.5 pounds this week. 1.5 pounds in two weeks really, seeing as that was my last weigh in. Then again, it was my staff Christmas do on Friday and I had pork belly, red wine and cheese and biscuits. None of which are exactly ideal for Slimming World!

Oh, and the weekend before I had a night out for my friend's birthday. Not only did I drink cider (a major weakness of mine) but or the first time in months and months I got garlic bread with cheese from the takeaway on the way home! What a fool! Garlic bread with cheese has always been one of my major downfalls though so I suppose I've done quite well not having any this year at all until last weekend.

I'm not proud of myself though and, with only two weigh ins to go before Christmas, I really need to avoid any more temptations. I doubt that I'll be able to hit target before Christmas now but I'd really like to get as much off as possible so I can indulge a little over the festive period.

Oh, who am I kidding! I can't wait to dive head first into a box of mince pies. I refuse to deprive myself at Christmas!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 154.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1.5 pounds 
Total Weight Loss: 72.5 pounds
Target Weight: 147 pounds

7.5 pounds to go!

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Weigh In #37

FINALLY! The 5 stone award is mine!! It feels like this one has taken forever (I got my 4.5 stone award the night before I went to New York in mid September) but it's mine all mine so that's all that matters! Two pounds off and I also won Slimmer of the Week (shared with another lovely lady) so I'm feeling pretty chuffed right now.

You might notice in the figures at the bottom of the post that I've decided to change my target. I originally set it at 10 stone because that is such a magical figure to me. I don't remember ever being 10 stone. EVER. However, I feel like I'm almost at where I want to be. I feel that, if I lose another 9 pounds, I'll probably be really happy with myself. And if I'm not then I'll just re-adjust my target again!

Plus, it might be a bit of a cop out, but I have to admit that I really would love to hit target before Christmas. And losing 9 pounds is just about feasible. I just think it would give me such a massive boost to go into the festive period at my target weight. Then, come January, I might or might not decide to lose the other half stone. (plus whatever I've put on over Christmas, of course)


Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 156 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 2 pounds 
Total Weight Loss: 71 pounds
Target Weight: 147 pounds

9 pounds to go!

Sunday, 21 November 2010

Miss Slinky

Just a quick post today to show you this photo that my Consultant sent round to the whole group this week. It's not a bad photo... until you notice that my sash is upside down! Mortifying!

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Weigh in #36


Finally, a good loss! It's been a long time coming but it was worth the wait. I did have an extremely good week food-wise so I think it's well deserved. I went out on Saturday night and had a few drinks but stuck religiously to spirits and diet mixers (save for one apple juice when the diet lemonade ran out!). I definitely didn't go anywhere near my limit on my syns and thankfully the scales rewarded me last night.

Oh, and I won Miss Slinky at my group too. Which is lovely and quite unexpected. As I won Woman of the Year at my group earlier in the year, I wasn't really expecting the second award! Gratefully received though and I'm just waiting to hear from my Consultant as to whether or not I meet the criteria to go forward to the district finals. As I missed out for Woman of the Year, I'm really hoping I can go this time!

So, I'm now 1 pound away from getting my 5 stone award. It feels like this award has been a long time coming (which it has really, I got my 4.5 stone award in September!) but I'm hoping that I'll get it next week.

Also, I'm finally under 20 pounds away from my target! BOOM!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 158 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 4 pounds 
Total Weight Loss: 69 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

18 pounds to go!

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Weigh In #35


I'm back. After that post in which I threatened to unceremoniously dump Slimming World I've done a lot of thinking, a lot of talking over on Twitter and a lot of moaning. I didn't go to weigh in last week but I did go to my Consultant's house on the Wednesday evening instead. I sent her a 'HELP ME' email and she invited me over and gave me a good talking to. In the nicest possible way.

I left her house feeling so much happier and 100% more positive about this whole weight loss journey I'm on. It was my birthday last Thursday and I was full of good intentions to not go overboard. I failed. Miserably. I went out for a three course meal on Friday, plus wine. Then had a chippy tea, pints of cider and party food on Saturday night. Then a hangover Burger King on Sunday. Oops.

But my mentality had changed because not for one minute did I consider not going to group on Tuesday. I knew I'd have a gain but I accepted because I knew I deserved it.

And gain I did. But only 1.5 pounds. It could have been so much worse and I was actually pretty happy with that. I took in my old work trousers to group and put them on for all to see. They're a size 18 and in January I could only just fasten them. In fact, if I had a big lunch I had to undo the top button. I'm now a size 12/14 and they look like clown trousers on me. Sometimes non scale victories really are amazing!

Ever since group on Tuesday my head has been 100% back in the game. I've made syn free hummus, I've eaten loads and loads of superfree foods and I just feel so much happier. I think that, subconsciously, I'd started restricting my food intake. I'd started counting calories and depriving myself if I got above 1200 in a day. Ridiculous. I know that Slimming World works but it's like my brain decided to make losing weight harder for myself! I was hungry all of the time and I clearly wasn't eating enough.

This week I've been stuffing jacket potatoes down like there's no tomorrow and I'm loving it. God bless green days!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 162 pounds
Weight Loss Gain This Week: 1.5 pounds 
Total Weight Loss: 65 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

22  pounds to go!

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Weigh In #34

Sorry this is late. I'm feeling extremely frustrated by my weight loss/Slimming World in general and just completely forgot to update last week.

One pound off. Meh.


Another 100% week, another disappointing loss.

I'm absolutely dreading weigh in tonight and, to be honest, I'm probably not going to bother going. I weighed myself this morning and have gained 1.5 pounds since last week. And I've been 100% on plan. Again.

I think me and Slimming World might be about to break up.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 160.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1 pound  
Total Weight Loss: 66.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

20.5  pounds to go!

Wednesday, 20 October 2010


Ah, it's been a while since I wrote anything other than a weigh in post hasn't it? Apologies neglected blog! I'm back. With a vengeance.

To combat the slightly miserable nature of the last post I thought I'd focus on some of the positive things that losing 65.5 (!) pounds has brought about, as well as a couple of not so positive things that are slightly odd in nature. Despite moaning that I've not lost very much recently, I do still get a little shock every time I see that number written down!

1) Shoes. Yes, shoes. I've gone down about 1.5/2 shoe sizes since January. Bizarre yet incredible. Also, as I'm no longer carrying the same amount of fat that I was, I can wear high heels and not be in agony. I used to be only able to wear the smallest heels, and even then my feet would hurt after about ten minutes. These days I trot around in super high heels all day and don't even get a twinge.

Various work outfits, taken in about July this year I think

2) Work clothes. It's no secret that I was hugely ashamed of my weight at the start of the year. I wore the same clothes to work every single day, in an attempt to hide my great bulk. A pair of size 18 black baggy trousers (that I couldn't button up after I'd eaten my (admittedly huge) lunch), a pair of battered black ballet pumps,one of a selection of baggy tunics/ill fitting blouses and a long black cardigan that had seen better days. I wore my hair scraped back and didn't really bother with make up. Now I wear pencil skirts, brightly coloured tights, fitted tops, three quarter sleeve cardigans, nice jewellery and high heels. I also make an effort to straighten my hair and wear it down (most days) and wear make up. It takes me three times as long to get ready in the morning but I feel professional, well groomed and pretty damn good most of the time.

3) I feel the cold. I never ever ever used to get cold. In the middle of winter I'd still be walking around with short sleeves and wearing flip flops. I think the blubber I was carrying kept me warm, almost like a security blanket. If I walked into the office and the radiator next to my desk was on then I'd be sweating almost instantly and I'd have to turn it off. Now I need that radiator on full blast to stop me turning into an icicle. However, this also means that I finally get to embrace winter coats, gloves, scarves and hats. Before I lost weight I couldn't wear them as I'd be too hot, even in sub zero temperatures. I used to covet the gorgeous coats in shops (that never looked right on me anyway as they just made me look even bigger) and bemoan the fact it just wasn't worth me spending the money on one. Now I wander around in my new fake fur coat, leather gloves and ear muffs. And it's only October.

4) Lady pains. Ahem. This might be TMI but I never used to get period pains. At all. I think my body was in such discomfort generally as a result of being so overweight that any pain I may have felt was masked by bloating caused by such an unhealthy diet. Now I get pains. A lot. In a way though, and this will sound strange, I kind of like it. I used to think that I was barren and doubted that I'd ever have children. I don't particularly want children but now I feel like my body is capable of having them, if ever I did decide to. The body is a magical machine, if maintained correctly.

 October 2010

5) Size. This is an obvious one but always worth pointing out. For the first time in my adult life I can fit into size 12 clothes. Not all size 12s fit me, but a lot do. I honestly do not remember even buying a size 12 before. If I did it must have been when I was about 14. Which is 14 years ago. Crazy. Those leather shorts above are my new big love.

What changes have you seen since losing weight that have surprised you?

Weigh In # 33


My weird way of losing weight strikes again. Looking back at my book I can see a pattern developing. If I lose 3 or 4 pounds one week then I'll only lose a half or 1 pound the next. It's been happening for the last 3 months or so and it's driving me insane! I was more on plan this week than last but I only lost half a pound, compared to last week's 4!

I am officially the exception to the rule of a weekly 2 pound weight loss if the plan is stuck to 100%. Oh well!

I am annoyed this week though as I realised that in the 3.5 months since I went to Glastonbury, I've lost just under a stone and a half. Considering I lost the first 3 stone in a relatively short space of time, I'm getting frustrated! I have to keep plodding on though I guess.

Sorry this is a bit of a downbeat post, I'm just struggling a little bit and wondering how on earth I'm ever going to get to target!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 161.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 0.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 65.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

21.5  pounds to go!

Friday, 15 October 2010

Weigh In #32


Woop! All my holiday weight gone, plus another 1.5 pounds. I'm extremely chuffed and feeling very very motivated to get to my target now. Fingers crossed I'll be there by Christmas!

I realise I've neglected this place a bit recently and I do apologise for that. I've just been so so busy at work plus I write another blog (my main blog) and that takes up a lot of my spare time. Do go and check it out if you have a moment or two.... Clear Your Heart.

I am going to get round to writing about my experience with the Slimming World Fast Forward plan, I promise! Hopefully I'll be able to get the post up this weekend, as I don't have a lot on over the next few days.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 162 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 4 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 65 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

22  pounds to go!

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Weigh Ins #30 & #31

So, ahem, I kind of didn't update after weigh in last week. But I have an excuse! I had no internet at home for the whole of last week. And internet has been banned at work. Sob. Weep.

I gained 3.5 pounds in New York, by the Slimming World scales. Not too shabby considering when I weighed myself the day after I got back I'd gained 12!!!! In 8 days. Yep, I enjoyed myself A HELL OF A LOT. I'd lost 8.5 of that by the time I set foot on the scales 4 days later and was really rather chuffed.

Then a lot of stress happened last week.

And I had a Burger King.

And some cookies.

And some ice cream.

See, even Women of the Year struggle sometimes :p

One more pound off this week but I'm still 2.5 heavier than when I went away. So I'm fuming with myself. Hopefully a 100% week this week will see me back down to my lowest weight! Fingers crossed.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 166 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1 pound (weight gain last week was 3.5 pounds!)
Total Weight Loss: 61 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

26  pounds to go!

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Weigh In #29

Can I get a HELL YEAH?!

Four pounds off! I got my 4.5 stone award and won Slimmer of the Week. The horrific Fast Forward was worth it! I'm not going to lie to you, it was hard work. And I was so hungry most of the time. But it's given me a pre-holiday boost and that's good enough for me.

I'll write a proper post all about it when I get back but, seeing as I'm leaving for the airport in 20 minutes, for now it's au revoir! See you when I get back xxx

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 163.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 4 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 63.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

23.5  pounds to go!

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Weigh In #28


One pound off. As ever, the greedy slimmer inside of me wanted more. I've now had two 100% weeks in a row and have only lost 1 pound in that time. Still, better off than on. And at least the gain from last week has disappeared. In an effort to kick start things again I'm going to follow the 'Fast Forward' plan this week. Basically it's like Slimming World Extreme. There's no free food at all and you have to stick to it rigidly. I shall report back next week, hopefully with an amazing loss.

I've offically got less than two stone to lose now, which is rather fabulous. I thought I'd share a couple of pictures of myself in clothes that used to either be very very tight or not fit at all. Non scale victories rock!!

I bought these jeans for my holiday to New York last year. They barely fitted and, by the time I got home, they didn't fit. Look at them now. It's rather fitting that I'm off to New York again next week. Same city, completely different girl.

These were the first skinny jeans that I ever bought. They were skin tight on me. Now? Baggy baggy baggy.

This is my last Slimming World week before my 8 day holiday. During which I'll probably gain 10 pounds. But, you know what? I know that I'll get it off again, super quick.

Wish me luck with the Fast Forward!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 167.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1 pound
Total Weight Loss: 59.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

27.5  pounds to go!

Monday, 6 September 2010

An explanation

Oops. I think it's about time I wrote and explained my absence from here.

I've been in a bit of a rut, to be honest. I weigh myself at home every day (I know it's not the Slimming World way but I know exactly how my scales measure up compared to the ones at group) and, last Tuesday morning, despite having had a 100% week and having no more than 50 syns, I'd gained 2 pounds. Inexplicable and really really frustrating. I didn't see the point in going to group only to be told what I already knew, so I skipped it. And, of course, for the whole of Tuesday, I ate anything and everything that I could lay my hands on instead.

I woke up on Wednesday and I'd gained another 1.5 pounds.

I was incredibly down and starting to feel like I'd never get any smaller than I am now. The dreaded plateau had reared its ugly head and I felt bloated and horrific. I'd conveniently forgotten that star week was due and had instead decided I was just always going to be fat. Ridiculous.

It got to Friday and I'd been 100% again from Wednesday onwards and still the scales weren't going down. Cue more frustration. Then I realised that I've been doing this for almost 8 months. I've been eating the same things week in, week out for 8 months. So I've changed things up. I'm eating less fruit and far more vegetables (before only one of my five a day was coming from vegetables, now four are). I'm eating more fish (which I never normally eat) and I'm sticking mainly to red days (my body does not like carbs, fact).

This morning I'm the lowest weight I've ever been (for as long as I can remember anyway) and although not looking forward to weigh in tomorrow, I'm not filled with dread.

I tried a pair of trousers on last night that I bought in New York in 2000, the year I left school. They were tight on me even then. Now? They're loose. Rather fitting considering I'm off to New York next week.

Here's to being thinner than I was at 18!!

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Weigh In #27

I think the figures speak for themselves this week. FOUR POUNDS OFF.

I finally feel like the end is in sight. I've got less than 30 pounds to go until target and if I get another pound off then I'll be into the 11 stone range. I honestly can't ever remember ever weighing under 12 stone. Sometimes the number on the scales still looks foreign to me, as I forget how much weight I've lost. I still expect to see 16 stone, or 15 stone staring back at me.

Slimming World has changed my life. Fact.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 168.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 4 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 58.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

28.5  pounds to go!

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

Weigh In #26

I have mixed emotions tonight.

On the one hand I only lost half a pound (after watching what I ate on my weekend away in London and counting every single syn).

On the other hand I WON WOMAN OF THE YEAR. Ahem. I got a gorgeous bunch of flowers, a certificate and a lovely silver pen (which is going on my desk at work and I'm going to make everyone address me as Woman of the Year. Ha!).

On another hand (I am a multi handed beast), I'm too fat to go on to the District finals! Which I think is fairly fattist of a slimming organisation. I'd need to be 11st 5lbs or under to be eligible.

So there were highs and lows at group this week. I'm extremely chuffed to have won though as I seriously never win anything! And it's lovely that so many people nominated me, as I'm not the most vocal member of my group by far and I wasn't sure many people noticed me! We had to give a little speech about our weight loss journey and I nearly shed a little tear when I talked about everything that's happened over the last year. I guess I really have come a long way.

Onwards and upwards to get my four stone award next week (I hope).

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 172.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 0.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 54.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

32.5  pounds to go!

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Weigh In #25

Three pounds!



I'm rather chuffed with my loss this week. Mainly because I had two nights out but stayed well within my syn allowance for the week. I kept track of what I drank and counted it up the next day to double check how many syns I'd had. Sticking to gin and slimline tonic or vodka and diet coke really does seem to work for me. Can't say I don't miss ice cold pints of cider though. Or a nice crisp glass of Sauvignon Blanc. Mmmm, wine.

I finally feel like I've broken the back of the weight now. Am well over half way. In fact, I'm close to being two thirds of the way there. Amazing. I honestly never thought I'd see the day when I'd be happy with how I look. But I'm getting there. Slowly but surely.

A few people at group have nominated me for Woman of the Year. Am kind of overwhelmed by that to be honest as I really don't think I've done anything that inspirational. I won't win but it's lovely to even be nominated. I'm so much happier and so much more confident than I was this time last year and that's prize enough for me.

I need to lose two pounds next week to get my four stone award. Four. Stone. I can't believe it. I've been trying to lose weight for so long. I've been on various ridiculous diets for about ten years now but I never actually truly thought I could do it.

It's lovely when you prove yourself wrong.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 173 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 54 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

33  pounds to go!

Thursday, 5 August 2010

Weigh In #24

Hmph. One measly pound off this week.

It was star week though so I shouldn't really complain. But I will. Because I'm greedy and impatient. I had a 100% week too. I think. Although, come to think of it, I probably went over on my syns slightly. C'est la vie!

I'm back on the low syn wagon this week, hoping to average about 7 a day. It's my best friend's birthday this weekend so I'll have to save syns up for a few cheeky gin and slimline tonics. No chocolate for me this week then. Boo!

I'll leave you with a photo that I posted on my other blog a few days ago. It's of me in the work trousers that barely fitted me in January. I used to have to unbutton them after I'd eaten my lunch. Probably because my lunch usually consisted of two M&S sandwiches, a sausage roll from Greggs and a bag of crisps. Yes, really. Disgusting.


Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 176 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1 pound
Total Weight Loss: 51 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

36  pounds to go!

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Weigh In #23

Could I be any more pleased? No. No I couldn't.

4.5 pounds and a loss of 50 pounds in total! I can't quite believe that I've lost 50 pounds. It just seems like such a huge number. Plus I don't actually feel like I look THAT different. Although my friend (who's been travelling for three months) told me that she barely recognised me. So maybe I do!

I am really chuffed with my loss this week but I do think I deserve it. My eating was 100% on plan, only one gin and tonic all week and I stuck to 6.5 syns a day. There were many times I felt like reaching for the Ben & Jerry's, but I didn't. Until after weigh in anyway, when I weighed myself 100g of Chocolate Macadamia (13 syns) and relished every mouthful. I even ate it with a small spoon so it would last longer!

I also got my 3.5 stone award last night. Finally. It feels like this one's been a long time coming!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 177 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 4.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 50 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

37  pounds to go!

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Weigh In #22


The less said about this week's weigh in the better.

As I wrote in my previous post, I've been really struggling to stay on plan and not eat everything in sight. So there you have it... a 1.5 pound GAIN. Only my second gain since starting Slimming World (and the first was only a 0.5 gain on star week) and I'm absolutely fuming with myself about it.

I debated with myself all day yesterday about whether to go to weigh in or not. I knew I'd put on and didn't want to see it on the scales. I convinced myself to go though and I'm so glad I did. Group was great and it's really given me the kick up the bum I needed to stop cheating! Instead of going home and cracking open a bottle of wine/pint of ice cream/box of chocolates, I headed straight to Sainsburys after the meeting and spent a small fortune on healthy, syn free food.

I think I need to realise that the things I could get away with at 16 stone are not going to wash now I'm in the 12 stone range. I've been lucky in the past that my naughtiness hasn't shown on the scales. I guess it's finally caught up with me!

I'm 100% back on plan as of now and intend to stay here for the foreseeable future! I want target before Christmas. I wanted to be there before my birthday but I think that's unlikely now.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 181.5 pounds
Weight Loss Gain This Week: 1.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 45.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

 41.5 pounds to go!

Monday, 19 July 2010


I don't like to admit this but, seeing as this blog is supposed to be brutally honest, I'm struggling.

Really struggling.

Since I went to Glastonbury (four weeks ago) I've only lost two pounds. And I gained one of those back this weekend. So one pound lost in four weeks. I could have been another half stone lighter if I'd just stuck to plan 100%. But I haven't. And I'm so angry with myself.

I've had way too many treats. I've had chocolate. Ice cream. Crisps. All things that I shouldn't be eating. I was doing so well a few weeks ago and now I'm just so annoyed with myself. And frustrated. Losing this weight is the most important thing to me at the moment and I've just been playing at it. I need to get serious again and get serious fast.

When you lovely people leave me nice comments and say I'm inspirational I feel like a fraud. I refuse to let myself go back to the way I was. So as of now I'm back on plan. I'm writing it down here so that I'm accountable for it.

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Weigh In #21

Two pounds off! Unfortunately I feel like I've let myself down this week. I was perfect up until Saturday night. 100% on plan, loads of water, scan bran every day, at least five portions of fruit and vegetables every day. Then Saturday night hit and I ate half a tub of Ben & Jerry's. Then Sunday came and I'd promised to make cookies for the staff at work. Obviously I had to test them. Six cookies later and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

So I'm probably quite lucky that I lost two pounds. I wanted three, but ice cream and cookies do not a three pound loss make.

In other news, the size 14 skirt that I bought three weeks ago is now getting a bit big. And, bizarrely, my feet have gone down from a size 6 to a size 4.5! One of the stranger side effects of my weight loss! Also, I can't tremember the last time I was below 13 stone. It must have been about 10 years ago!

Tomorrow is a new start. No more ice cream. No more cookies. Onwards and upwards! I want my 3.5 stone award next week. No, scratch that, I need my 3.5 stone award next week!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 180 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 2 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 47 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

 40 pounds to go!

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Weigh In #20

Eek. My first maintain!

I would, ordinarily, be pretty upset. This week, however, I'm relieved! On weighing myself on my home scales after I returned from Glastonbury I found that I'd put on 7 (!) pounds. Sounds like a lot but my body is always strange like that. I can put on huge amounts in very short spaces of time, but then, usually, it drops straight back off. As it has done this time. Phew!

Am back on plan 100% this week and gunning for some big losses in the near future. I want that 3.5 stone award in the next couple of weeks! And the 4, 4.5, 5, 5.5 and 6 stone awards of course! Although I think some of those are going to take a while longer.

Why can't weight loss be instant?!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 182 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 0 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 45 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

 42 pounds to go!

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

Weigh In #19

Oops! Completely forgot to update this last week. Actually, I thought I had updated it. Which calls into question my powers of memory and sanity.

Anyway, weigh in last week was marvellous! 3.5 pounds off! That's my biggest loss for ages and it meant that I got my 3 stone award in style. Thank God! It feels like it's been a long time coming. I did have a good week though so I feel it was deserved.

I feel like a bit of a fraud writing this today as I've just got back from Glastonbury, having gained about half a stone. Oh well! I'm not going to weigh in tonight as I've got a duty at the charity I volunteer for so hopefully I'll get the weight off, plus a bit more, in time for next week's hop on the scales.

Being over halfway to my goal feels pretty amazing! Cannot wait to get there now.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 182 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 45 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

 42 pounds to go!

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Weign In #18

I don't have much to say this week. I'm annoyed and frustrated and I feel like my weight loss has slowed right down again. Only lost 1 measly pound this week, so I'm still half a pound away from my 3 stone award. I really wanted to be under 12 stone for Glastonbury but that doesn't look like it's going to happen. I think a 3.5 pound loss next week is a little too optimistic.

Although, I am doing Race For Life on Saturday so I guess you never know. On that note, if anyone would like to sponsor me then it would be hugely appreciated. Here's the link....

I don't understand my 1 pound loss really as I ate scan bran every single day, drank in excess of 2.5 litres of water a day and ate more fruit and veg than ever.

Oh well. Better luck next time.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 185.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1 pound
Total Weight Loss: 41.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

 45.5 pounds to go!

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Weigh In #17

Hmm. Am slightly disappointed with my loss this week. Yes, I lost 3 pounds. But I didn't weigh in last week so technically that's only a 3 pound loss in 2 weeks. Not the 2 pounds a week that I want! Oh well, I did have a weekend in Edinburgh, a meal out for my parents' 40th wedding anniversary and a couple of rather large pieces of English Cheesecake Company cheesecake (SO GOOD). But I've been 100% on plan since last Tuesday so was hoping for a 4 pound loss. Hmph.

Still, I've now lost over 40 pounds and only need 1.5 off next week to get my 3 stone award. That should be do-able, fingers crossed.

Onwards and upwards!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 186.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 40.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

 46.5 pounds to go!

Friday, 28 May 2010

Weigh In #16

Oops! I completely forgot to post my weigh in for this week! Bad blogger. Tut tut.

Well I lost 1.5 pounds, taking me down below 190 and leaving me with less than 50 pounds to lose. Finally! I was slightly disappointed with my loss, until I remember that I'd had about 135 syns. So really I should have gained. The majority of those naughty little syns were consumed on a night of dinner, drinks and debauchery with my friends Tash. It was completely and utterly worth it though.

I'm off to Edinburgh this weekend and then off out for my parent's 40th anniversary meal on Monday. So I am dreading weigh in already!

Must stay strong. Must stay strong. Must stay strong!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 189.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 37.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

 49.5 pounds to go!

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Size 12

Today I bought a skirt. It's a SIZE 12.

Actually I bought two in a size 12 and one in a size 14.

This is unbelieveable.

I haven't been a size 12 since I was at school. Bizarrely, despite losing quite a lot of weight, I didn't think that I'd dropped any dress sizes. Admittedly my work clothes (in sizes 16 and 18) are hanging off me but I just didn't consider that I might be able to buy a smaller size. Years of conditioning myself to head straight for the biggest size in the shop has obviously made me crazy.

I picked up the size 16s and was about to head for the changing rooms when I had second thoughts and grabbed smaller sizes. I was in shock when they fitted. I still am.

Admittedly the size 12s probably only fit because of the style of skirt (elasticated waist and jersey type material) but I'm still over the bloody moon!

My credit card is crying as we speak.

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Weigh In # 15

I'm astonished that I've lost 3 pounds this week. I was praying for 1 pound! Mainly because I had two nights of drinking at the weekend, although I did stick to gin and slimline tonic. Oh, and I did write down every single syn. My willpower has gone into overdrive recently and I'm crediting this loss to that!

Two examples:

1) I found the most incredible cookie recipe. I then proceeded to make two big batches of gorgeous chewy cookies. One was milk chocolate and ginger and the other was brazil nut, ginger and pecan. They were incredible. The old me would probably have eaten the whole lot. But I didn't. I had two cookies from each batch. And, again, I counted the syns.

2) I was out for lunch with some friends on Sunday. At a bar that does incredible burgers with mountains of shoestring fries and coleslaw. I had a chicken salad, no dressing. It killed me but it was worth it to lose 3 pounds!

I am officially in the zone.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 191 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 36 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

51 pounds to go!

Friday, 14 May 2010

Picture perfect?

Ooh thankyou so much for all the positive feedback on the last post. It's nice to know that what I'm writing is of use to some of you! If there are ever any questions you'd like to ask me then feel free! My email address is over on the right there and I'll always find the time to reply, although it might take me a little while. I can't profess to be an expert on weight loss or Slimming World but I do have years (and years, and years!) worth of experience of numerous diets so I know what tends to work (and what definitely doesn't).

I'm going to try and start posting here a little more regularly. I'd particularly like to post some of my favourite recipes and little tricks I've found that really seem to speed up my weight loss. If there is anything else you'd like to see on SGW then drop me a line and it shall be done!

With this in mind I thought I'd show you a couple of pictures of myself. One from the start of this particular weight loss journey in December 2009 (in fact I think I actually put on about another 7 pounds after this was taken) and one from Barcelona, taken about a month ago.

You might need to click on the picture to see it a bit larger to get the full effect. I think I look quite different though. I know they're completely different photographs but look how fat my face is in the first one! And my arms! Oh, my big fat arms! Thankfully they're reducing in size quite nicely now.

I've actually lost about another 7 pounds since the Barcelona photo was taken too, so I'm hopefully looking even more different.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

A Slimming World Day...

A few people have asked me how I'm actually losing the weight 'so fast' (I don't think I'm losing it fast at all but there you go) so I thought I'd write a little 'A Day in the Life of' type post.

I do mainly red days with a couple of green days thrown in here and there. I started off doing extra easy but I feel like I have better losses doing red and green (plus sometimes I just really don't want to eat fruit or vegetables as a third of my meal!) and I fear I eat too much and not in the right proportions when I do extra easy.


Generally I eat breakfast at my desk at work. I can't usually stomach food very early in the morning (unless it's a McDonald's breakfast and, sadly, they're forbidden!), plus I'd rather have a few more minutes in bed and then run out of the door in a mad panic because I've fallen back to sleep. I just like the risk element. Haha.

I usually have a Muller Light with chopped up fruit or frozen berries. I tend to have strawberries and apple if I'm using fresh fruit and the frozen berries are just Sainbury's basics. They're nothing fancy but they're tasty and only cost about £1. I find that, because the fruit is frozen, it takes me absolutely ages to eat the whole bowl. Therefore I'm usually absolutely stuffed by the time I manage it and it generally sees me through to lunch time.

Mid Morning Snack:

If I'm a bit peckish around 11am then I'll have some more fruit. Generally I have a whole grapefruit or another apple. Or, if I've been organised and nipped to the supermarket then I'll have some pomegranate or melon. If I'm having two Alpen Light bars as one of my Healthy Bs then I'll have one (or both) of these now too. If I'm feeling like a glutten for punishment then I'll have 5 scan bran (HEB), topped with 5 light Laughing Cow triangles (HEA). Or, if I just want cheese then I'll have 3 mini light Baybel (HEA).


Completely depending, once again, on how organised I've been. If I've made chilli or meatballs the night before then I'll have that with some vegetables (Marks & Spencer do these awesome little packages of veg that you can steam in the microwave... they're two for £1 at the moment too, bargain!). I also really like M&S chunky steak (it comes in a can and looks a bit disconcerting when it's cold but I can assure you it tastes lush when hot!) so I'll have that with vegetables if I've not been organised enough to bring something from home. As it's getting a bit warmer I've started having salads more, either tuna or chicken normally, with plenty of cucumber, peppers and cabbage. I'll generally have some melon or grapes to follow, and possibly some nuts (synned, of course). My new favourite thing to have after lunch is a Kelloggs Fibre Plus bar (HEB). I particularly like the dark chocolate one and it actually tastes like a treat, rather than just a Healthy B.

If I'm on a green day then I tend to favour Batchelor's savoury rice, MugShots, barbecue beans or spaghetti hoops on toast (2 slices of Nimble wholemeal bread for a HEB). Plus fruit to follow.


Steak and salad is a massive favourite in my house. I love feta cheese so if I haven't already used my Healthy As for the day then I'll make a Greek salad to accompany the steak (8 olives are one syn). If I've had a big lunch then quite often I don't want to eat a massive dinner so I'll just have scrambled eggs or an omelette (again, using cheese as HEA if I've not already used them), sometimes accompanied by smoked salmon. If I've not had any fruit or veg as part of my main meal then I'll either have some pineapple or I'll make some veg crudities and munch them in front of the TV.

If I'm on a green day then I'll either have some Slimming World chips (AMAZING) with eggs, savoury rice (if I've not had it for lunch) or a jacket potato with a HEB portion of tuna. Plus salad and/or fruit.


I do tend to try and have between 5 and 15 syns a day but I have to admit to 'tweaking' the plan from time to time and saving the majority of them for the weekend (I do like a good night out after all). Currently I tend to use my syns for things like peanut butter (4.5 syns per tbsp), Cadbury's chocolate mousse (3 syns for the low fat one, 5 syns for the regular one), nuts, alcohol (I tend to stick to gin and slimline tonic... 2 syns for a 25ml measure!) and whatever sweets or biscuits are lying around the office. Krispy Kreme doughnuts are 11.5 syns (for a glazed original) so those are kept for VERY special treats.

So there you go. That's a typical day for me. In addition I drink at least 2 litres of water a day, plus 4 or 5 cups of either green, fennel or peppermint tea. I try and have at least 5 portions of fruit and veg a day and I generally end up having about 7. I also try to make sure that I have at least 2 superspeed foods a day (strawberries, broccoli, melon).

Writing it all down I realise that I'm actually quite disciplined about what I eat! Who'd have thunk it?!

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Weigh In #14

After loads of disappointing weeks I finally seem to be back on the 'big loser' bandwagon. Three pounds off this week! 

I thought I'd had a good week so am pretty chuffed. I actually thought I might have lost four, judging by my own scales this morning, but I'm not complaining! I've actually eaten far more in the last week than I normally do. By far more, I mean far more free and superfree food. I think maybe I wasn't eating quite enough before, hence the smaller losses. Bizarrely Slimming World seems to work better for me when I eat a lot. No complaints here!

I want to get two pounds off next week because that means... dun dun dun.... I'll get my two and a half stone award. Awesome!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 194 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 33 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

54 pounds to go!

Monday, 10 May 2010


A truly momentous occasion occurred this morning.

I managed to fit into a leather jacket that I bought 18 months ago. For the first time. It fits! It fits! IT FITS! I can zip it up and it fits round my (not as) gigantic arms and everything. I may never take it off. If this weather carries on then I won't have to.

Another momentous occasion occurred on Friday. I weighed myself in the morning (yes, yes I know that Slimming World discourage such weighing mania but I know the difference between my scales and theirs so there's no problem) and I was under 14 stone. 13 stone 11 pounds to be precise.

That, my friends, is the lightest I've been for about five years. GET IN.

I realised today that I've been doing Slimming World for almost four months now. I think that's probably the longest I've ever stuck to any diet or eating plan. I think I did SlimFast (halfheartedly) for about three weeks, until I couldn't stand any more of the terrible milkshakes. I did Atkins for about a week. Again, that was halfhearted as I just love fruit too much. Five years ago I lost three stone in three months. How? I ate 3 spoonfuls of bran flakes for breakfast, two ryvitas with cucumber and tiny slivers of cheese for lunch and a quarter portion of whatever my boyfriend at the time was having for dinner. Et volia! Three stone gone and utter misery. And of course, once I started eating normally again, I gained all the weight back and then some.

Slimming World is the only diet I've ever managed to stick to and the only one I've ever managed to stick out for any length of time. I think it's partly down to the fact that I never feel deprived. If I want some chocolate, I have it. But I count the syns. Likewise with crisps, peanut butter and biscuits. It's completely changed the way I think about food. I don't constantly think about when I can next have a Burger King or a pizza. I don't buy huge amounts of food and eat until I feel ill. I don't use food as a reward, or as a punishment. I make healthy choices, without even thinking about it most of the time. So yes, it's partly down to the fact that the eating plans aren't restrictive.

But, more than that, it's because my mindset has changed. For the first time in my life I want to be slim and healthy more than I want to eat chocolate eclairs or cheese and biscuits. I want to fit into the clothes I like, without worrying that I'll look like a big fat whale. I want to feel attractive and, dare I say it, have boys look at me and think I look nice. I've never had that, not that I've been aware of anyway.

I'm actually going to do it this time. Finally.

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Weigh In #13


Unlucky for some. But not for me. Four pounds off!

That takes me under the 200 pound mark, which I'm absolutely delighted about. I also got my two stone award. Hurrah!

I thought I'd lost two or three pounds but really wasn't expecting four, particularly after my London shenanigans. Oh well, I'm not complaining! I'm back on plan 100% as from today and I want to be under 14 stone next week. I haven't weighed less than 14 stone since I met C, two and a half years ago. Eek.

Bring it.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 197 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 4 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 30 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

57 pounds to go!

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Bad blogger

Oh I have been a neglectful old thing, haven't I!

I didn't weigh in last week as I was in London eating too much cake. And Greek food. And gorgeous risotto. I feel a little bit like I've fallen off the Slimming World wagon recently and it displeases me. I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't really lost any either. This is going to change as of now. I need to hit my target this year, I just have to! So I'm going to start writing a food diary again, I'm going to start running again and I'm going to start counting my syns again.

It's on.

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Weigh In #12

Well, I'm pretty darn pleased with my loss this week (although secretly I always want more. MORE!). I've been fairly good since I've been back from Barcelona but I'm not sure I've been good enough to warrant a 1.5 pound loss. Oh well, I'm not complaining!

I'm so close to being under the 200 pound mark and I can't wait to get there. I've not been 100% on plan for weeks now and it's showed with my losses (1, 1 and 1.5). I really want to be losing 2 pounds a week so I need to kick my ass into gear and get back on track. I'm off to London this weekend but am determined to stay within my syns allowance and eat well. Losing weight is far more important to me than eating junk food (no matter how much I might want it) these days and I'm not going to let anything stop me getting to my target.


Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 201 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 26 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

61 pounds to go!

Friday, 16 April 2010

No Weigh In

You might have noticed that there was no weigh in post this week. If you didn't, who can blame you. There was no weigh in post because there was no weigh in. Because I was in wonderful Barcelona! Four glorious days and nights in one of my now favourite cities in the world. I had the best of intentions, really I did. I was going to take packets of scan bran with me. I was going to buy fruit from the supermarket every day. I was going to drink gin and slimline tonic.

I did none of the above.

I drank beer and sangria and red wine. I bought cheese, chorizo, bread and crisps from the supermarket. I didn't take any scan bran with me. I ate tapas until I was stuffed. I drank too little water. I didn't hold back at all.

I fear the scales on Tuesday!

However, since I've been back I have been back on track. Mostly. About 80%. Which isn't really good enough. So for the next four days I'm going to be a Slimming World machine. Cross your fingers for me, won't you?

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Weigh In #11

I'm a little bit late with my weigh in post this week but last night I was so tired after group that I literally couldn't be bothered to switch the laptop on. Oh dear, that really is the height of laziness!

Another pound gone. Predictably I'm disappointed. I've only lost 5 pounds in the last 4 weeks. However, this week I really have no right to be disappointed. After a weekend spent destroying my liver and mind on gin and god knows what else, I then proceeded to eat fish, chips, mushy peas and a sausage for my dinner on Monday. Followed by an easter egg and two creme eggs. In the bath. Scum bag I am.

So I didn't even deserve to lose a pound really.

There will be no weigh in next week as I'm off to Barcelona on Saturday for 5 days. I think it's a good job I won't be weighing in straight after I get back as I cannot resist tapas. Or sangria.

Oh dear. Waistline, I pity you.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 202.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1 pound
Total Weight Loss: 24.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

62.5 pounds to go!

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Weigh In #10

As ever, I'm disappointed with my weight loss this week. But I need to quit with the negativity and realise that I've lost 23.5 pounds! In ten weeks! That's not too shabby at all. Also tonight I finally got my Club 10 award so I'm officially 10% smaller than I was in January. Plus I got Slimmer of the Month for March (9.5 pounds). So maybe I should just shut my mouth and be pleased?! Yes, I think I will.

The next couple of weeks are going to be tough with regards to losing weight. It's my friend's 40th birthday on Saturday so that'll be a boozy night on the tiles. Then next weekend I'm off to Barcelona for five days. Tapas and sangria are not Slimming World friendly so I'm just going to have to be incredibly strong willed and try and make some decent meal choices. Ugh.

4.5 pounds and then I get my two stone award. I WANT IT NOW! Greedy Helen.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 203.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1 pound
Total Weight Loss: 23.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

63.5 pounds to go!

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Weigh In #9

I'm starting to get greedy. Not in terms of food, oh no. In fact, I'm probably eating far more healthily than ever before. And my portion sizes are greatly reduced due to a diminishing appetite.

No, I'm starting to get greedy with regards to my weight loss. I lost 2.5 pounds this week which I know is fantastic. Except that I can't help but feel slightly disappointed. I really wanted 3 pounds. I wanted my Club 10 award. I wanted to have lost 10% of my body weight.


This last week was absolutely a 100% Slimming World week for me. Probably the best one I've done since I started this little journey in fact. I wrote down everything I ate, every last little syn was recorded using the online food diary (which I love, fyi), I drank huge amounts of water, I exercised (Davina McCall has ruined my thighs) and I ate loads of speed and superspeed foods. So I expected more than a 2.5 pound loss. So I'm disappointed.

Ugh. Get a grip Helen.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 204.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 2.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 22.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

64.5 pounds to go!

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Weigh In #8

Chuffed doesn't even cover how I feel right now. After a weekend of kebabs, chips, booze and all manner of unholy things I was expecting, at best, a maintain. At worst, I thought I might have gained a couple of pounds. Hurrah, hurrah and thrice hurrah for the fact I lost half a pound!

After a couple of less than perfect Slimming World weeks I now want to get myself back on track and have a 100% week this week. I'd love to lose three pounds next week as I'd get my 1.5 stone award and my Club 10 award (10% of my body weight lost). So strawberries, grapefruits, broccoli, lean meat and plenty of water are back on the agenda.


Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 207 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 0.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 20 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

67 pounds to go!

Monday, 15 March 2010


Things to not do when you're trying to lose a lot of weight:

  • Drink a lot of gin. Some wine. A bottle or two of beer. A bit more gin.
  • Eat kebab meat and chips at 4am.
  • Eat a double chicken burger and chips for lunch.
  • Miss your run on Sunday because you've not had enough sleep/you have a hangover.

You know what though? I enjoyed every single minute of it. I'm expecting a gain tomorrow at weigh in but, for once, I'm not too upset about it. I had a damn good weekend and I'm not going to beat myself up about it. That was always my problem in the past. I'd slip up and then think 'Oh well that's that then, I might as well give up'. And then I would. I'd give up. Now I allow myself to fail occasionally. I allow myself to eat what I like for one day, drink what I like and dance with ridiculous abandon until 4am.

But then, the next day, I get right back on the Slimming World wagon.

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Weigh In #7

After last week's little blip I seem to be right back on track. And then some! I was expecting a fairly decent loss this week as my work trousers are starting to fall down. I wasn't expecting 6 pounds though! So I'm feeling rather smug right now.

To be honest I needed a decent loss as I've had an awful day. If I hadn't lost a lot tonight I could just see myself shoving down a Zinger Tower Meal. Thankfully there is no call for fried chicken just yet!

I'm also quite surprised as I was away this weekend on a training course. It turns out that drinking a bottle of gin and eating lots of lettuce and fruit can do wonders for you! Although I wouldn't recommend the resulting hangover.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 207.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 6 pounds (!!!)
Total Weight Loss: 19.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

67.5 pounds to go!

Thursday, 4 March 2010


I've been doing Slimming World for six weeks now. I may not have lost quite as much weight as I'd hoped by this point but I am looking better. I look in the mirror now and I don't hate what I see. My waist is becoming more pronounced, my arms are thinner (I began to hate them the most, after C said they were his least favourite bit of me), my legs are becoming leaner (thanks to the running) and my face is definitely about half the size it was before (no more moon face here).

I've found a few things over the last few weeks that I really like or that really seem to help and I thought I'd share...
  • Fennel tea. Amazing for the digestion and bloating.
  • Marks & Spencer chunky steak (400g tin) is syn free and bloody lovely! It's perfect for lunch at work on an Extra Easy or Original day.
  • Also, Marks & Spencer have started doing little individual bags of mixed vegetables that you can steam in the microwave. They're currently two for £1.00 and, again, are perfect for lunch at work. I had sugar snap peas, carrots and broccoli today and they were lovely.
  • Green tea tablets. I use the ones from Boots (£6.99 for 90) and they really seem to help with digestion.
  • Grapefruit. Nothing earth shattering here but if I eat a grapefruit with a meal at least once a day I seem to lose more weight.

 If anyone's got any tips they'd like to share then they're always very welcome!

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Weigh In #6

I'm frustrated. Super super frustrated. I lost 10.5 pounds in my first 3 weeks but in the last 3 weeks I've only lost the equivalent of 1 pound a week. I expected my weight to plateau a bit but I didn't expect it so soon. I've got such a long way to go and I can't bear the thought of it taking so long.

But I know I have to look at the long term, rather than the short term. So I'm trying.

I knew I shouldn't have had that bloody kebab on Saturday. Damn you gin, you make me do stupid things. I thought I'd saved enough syns that it wouldn't matter but obviously not.

Oh well, I'll get it off next week, and more!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 213.5 pounds
Weight Loss Gain This Week: 0.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 13.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

73.5 pounds to go!

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Weigh In #5


This week I got my stone award, got Slimmer of the Week and got Slimmer of the Month for February.

I think my group hate me.

I'm not sure what happens at other groups but at mine each week people are supposed to bring in a piece of fruit/something syn free and put it in the basket next to the scales. Then the Slimmer of the Week gets it all.

I cannot keep taking the basket of fruit. I'm scared I'll get lynched on the way out.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 213.0 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 2.5 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 14 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

73 pounds to go!

Monday, 22 February 2010

Onwards and upwards...

I've been on a bit of a downer the last few days. I felt bloated and frustrated and (don't tell anyone) I've been weighing myself every day, which is a huge no-no at Slimming World.

What exactly does weighing myself obsessively achieve? Nothing, that's what. Nothing but misery and stress! My weight fluctuates wildly from day to day and I've been working myself up into a panic about stepping on the scales tomorrow night at group. Silly girl.

I think my problem is that SW is just so different to every other diet I've ever tried. I've always counted calories. I've always weighed myself every day. I've always tried to cut out carbs. It's strange that I don't have to do any of these things and sometimes old habits die hard.

One plus point that's come out of the last few days is that I've started running. Yes, running! Me! A few weeks ago I signed up for a 5k Race for Life in June and I thought it was about time I started trying to get in shape for it. I've never been a good runner. Walking I can do. I can walk for miles and miles and miles. But running has always eluded me.

It's something that I really want to do though so I'm starting off slowly and I'm following the Bupa 5k training programme. I'm only in the first week of it so currently I'm running for one minute, followed by two minutes walking. Repeated six times. To be honest though, that's more than hard enough for me at the moment!

Thursday, 18 February 2010

Know yourself

One of the things I most love about losing weight this time around (in comparison to other less successful attempts) is that I'm actually in tune with my body. That sounds horribly pretentious and wanky but bear with me.

When I was gorging myself on food I never had the chance to actually listen to my body. I packed her so full of sugar, fat, stodge and junk that she couldn't tell me what she needed. I would eat until I was so full that it actually hurt. I'd have to lie down because I was in so much pain and felt so bloated. Then, once an hour or so had passed, and the bloated feeling had diminshed slightly, I'd carry on with the crisps, cocktail sausages, biscuits and sweets. Then I'd feel terrible again.

The lowest point of my entire life came in May last year. I'd eaten so much and felt so full and bloated and in pain that I made myself sick. I then cried for about two hours and wondered how the hell I'd ended up like that. I vowed there and then that I'd never do it again. But of course I did. I think, however, that was the first moment that I actually realised what I was doing. It was the first time I ever really considered that I might have some sort of eating disorder. Non-purging bullemia? Who knows. I stopped for a while, I told my partner at the time all about it, all about the eating and the sadness and how out of control I felt. It was the first time I'd ever told anybody. That was the same day that he finally admitted he loved me. We then spent the weekend making life plans and talked about how our future would be. I'd never been so happy.

Then, two weeks later, he left me. Without explanation. Without so much as even a backwards glance. He cut me out of his life. I trusted him enough to tell him about my problems with food (a major major thing for me) and then I was left alone, wondering why I'd ever trusted him at all. So of course I did the only thing I knew how. I ate. I binged. I cried. I blamed myself. I gained 28 pounds.

Looking back and writing it down here is actually incredibly painful. I feel so sad that I let myself get like that. It was a sorry state of affairs.

Anyway, the point of this post was that now, because I'm eating healthily and have left my bingeing days behind me (6 weeks and counting), I know what my body wants. I know when to have green tea or fennel tea (amazing for the digestive system and to combat bloating). I know when I need a glass of water and not food. I know when I'm retaining water. I know when my period is about to start (I'd messed my body up so much with food that I never knew if it was hunger pains, pains from being too full or period pains).

I'm actually letting my body speak for the first time in my life.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Weigh In #4

Disappointment central.

1 pound.

1 measly pound after possibly the strictest week on the plan so far. I've not had any alcohol (bar one gin & slimline tonic), I've counted all my syns and am well within the amount allowed, I've been super disciplined.

But bloody mother nature always gets in the way doesn't she.

Yes. It's that time of the month. Or 'star week' as they call it at Slimming World. Which always makes me chuckle.

Ah well, onwards and upwards. A small glimmer of joy is that I still managed to get Slimmer of the Week. Yes, everyone else had an even worse week than me. Hurrah.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 215.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 1 pound
Total Weight Loss: 11.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

75.5 pounds to go!

Monday, 15 February 2010

The Fear

I have weigh-in fear.

I feel bloated and fat and I'm fairly certain I've not lost any weight this week. It's annoying because I've actually stuck to the plan more this week than any other! I didn't even have my usual night out at the weekend so there was no alcohol at all.

It is, however, that 'time of the month' so I guess I'm just retaining water. Or something.

I'm just worried that this could make me fall off the wagon. I'm only really any good at dieting when I see results. And quickly. I WANT TO BE THIN NOW GODDAMMIT. I'm trying not to project too much and, if I've not lost a lot, then I know it's not the end of the world. I just don't know if my willpower could withstand a maintain or a gain.

Ugh. Cross your fingers for me.

Friday, 12 February 2010

When white bread attacks

White bread is my nemesis.

I don't even like it *that* much but, when I'm trying to lose weight, I crave hot buttered toast, garlic baguettes and ham sandwiches made with thick white bread. The sort of thick white bread that is unbelievably bad for you but that tastes divine.

White bread came back to bite me on the ass today.

For my lunch I bought some hotpot from the sandwich shop next to my office. I know that the hotpot is pretty much syn free so it's my Friday treat. The only problem is the half white baguette that you get included in the price. I should have told the lovely old man behind the counter that I didn't want the bread. I didn't. I should have thrown the bread in the bin when I got back to the office. I didn't. Instead I ate my hotpot and told myself that I wasn't going to eat the bread. I even felt smugly virtuous about it.

Then I ate it.

I know it's not the end of the world. Really I do. I've only had 6 of 7 syns over the last couple of days. But I don't know how many syns were in it, so I don't know how to make allowances for it.

Silly girl.

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Weigh In #3

I am so ridiculously happy right now! I was expecting a decent loss this week as I've been really sticking to the plan (save for a fair few syns in the gin and tonics at the weekend) but I wasn't expecting to lose four pounds. I got my half stone sticker AND slimmer of the week! I'm so chuffed and I think I've realised why Slimming World is working for me.... it brings out my competitive nature!! I want to be slimmer of the week, I want to lose more than all the other people at group, I want to see those numbers falling as quickly as I can. The awards for every half stone are just the icing on the cake!

Bring it on.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 216.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 4 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 10.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

76.5 pounds to go!

How did I get here?

How did I get to be so unhappy with by own body that I could barely stand to look in the mirror?

It's a fairly simple answer really. Heartbreak. And issues of self-loathing that stemmed from having my heart broken.

I've always felt like I've been on the large side. Always carried a few more pounds than I really should have. But I look back at photos of myself as a child and I was skinny! Really skinny! Then the teenage years started and a few pounds crept on that shouldn't have done. But even now, looking back, I looked healthy rather than fat. I wasn't a skinny minnie but I wasn't fat, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Then my first love (or so I thought at the time) dumped me four days before my A-Levels started. I was devastated. 18 and so hurt. But I survived. You always do, don't you?! Then off to University I went. And the real eating began. Takeaway curries, pizzas, chinese most nights. The food in University halls was so horrendous that we just ended up ordering in. And of course there was the booze. Oh, the booze! I lived the student life and enjoyed it far too much, taking every opportunity to eat, drink and be merry.

My second boyfriend broke my heart into pieces when he met someone else and ended it with me. Followed by him and her ringing me up at all hours of the night and calling me awful names down the phone. This was the time that I really started to dislike myself. And the comfort eating began in earnest. I developed an awful habit of going to the supermarket, buying as much junk food as I could eat and then going home and gorging myself. I would eat until my stomach hurt and I could do nothing but lie on my bed. Horrific but true.

Fast forward a few years to now (missing out a fairly major break up in the middle). Or May last year to be precise. I was with C. Love of my life. The man I thought I'd marry. We'd had our ups and downs over the 18 months that we'd been together and my binging habits were still ongoing. I went through phases where I wouldn't do it for months but then I'd have an argument with C and I'd be right back in the pits of junk food hell. It didn't help that I knew he hated my weight. He'd make the odd comment here or there. Occasionally, in the middle of an argument, he'd call me fat or make some other snide remark. A few months into our relationship I was on his computer and I found a log of an old msn conversation he'd had with a friend, a couple of weeks after he'd met me. In it he said I 'wasn't the best looking girl'.

It cut like a knife.

I look back now and that was the moment I really started to hate the way I looked. But, me being me, instead of doing something about it, I sunk lower into my binging hell and pretended I hadn't seen it. But you can't pretend you've not seen something like that. Those words lodged into my brain and ate away at me. They made me think I wasn't good enough for him. They made me think that he was right. That I was fat and unattractive. Why on earth would he fancy me! And because those words ate away and eroded all my confidence, I destroyed our relationship.

I constantly questioned him as to how much he fancied me and whether or not I looked fat in this skirt or that dress. I stopped trusting him (with some good reasons it has to be said, but that's a story for another time) and became obsessed with the fact that he would leave me.

Guess what?

He did.


So here I am. Eight months after the last break up and finally doing something about the weight that I've hated for so long. The feelings of self loathing after the break up were so strong that I managed to put on almost two stone. 28 pounds of pure self hatred. It's funny though, in the last few weeks I've suddenly found myself happier than I've been in years. I don't hate myself now. I see who I am and I'm learning to love her.

And you know what? He was a fool to let me go.

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Weekend decadence

I'm proud of myself today. Really proud. Probably more proud than I should be but that's just how I roll.

The reason?

I ate out for lunch today and, for the first time ever, I modified my choice to suit my new healthy eating habits. I ordered the rump steak and chose baby new potatoes instead of chips and a nice side salad (instead of grilled tomatoes and mushrooms which I hate). Filling, ridiculously tasty and totally syn free!

Another reason?

I was at a blogger meetup type thing yesterday and completely resisted the tempation of not only crisps and cashew nuts but also pizza and chips! All four are some of my all time favourite foods but not a bite passed my lips. I ate lots of fruit instead and felt very smug. Haha. I did have a few gin and slimline tonics but those were my only syns. Not bad going considering that the weekend has always been a very difficult time for me, weight wise.

I'm feeling totally in the Slimming World zone now and finally feel like I know what I'm doing. Super psyched right now!

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Weigh In #2

From the sublime to the ridiculous. Last week I was disappointed with my 3.5 pound loss, this week I'm over the moon with my 3 pound loss! I literally don't understand how I've managed it. After my indiscretions on Saturday and Sunday I didn't even expect to see a loss, let alone 3 pounds!

I was dreading weighing in tonight. I actually felt a little bit sick at the thought of the scales going up. I really shouldn't have worried! However, I refuse to be complacent. I can't get away with what I got away with this week every time. My eating and exercising was spot on for the rest of the week but five days out of seven just isn't good enough. I want seven days out of seven to be perfect at this stage. Once I've lost a couple of stone then I might feel like allowing myself a bit of leeway but not yet. It's only been two weeks after all!

I've only got one thing standing in my way this week and that's a big night out on Saturday night. I'm going to have to try really hard to curb my drinking though as I don't want even the slightest risk of not getting my half stone award next week!

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 220.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3 pounds
Total Weight Loss: 6.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

80.5 pounds to go!

Monday, 1 February 2010

Cheater cheater pumpkin eater

I'm angry with myself today. Really angry.

I did so well last week. Perfect eating. No alcohol. Went to the gym. Generally felt so good about myself. Then Saturday night comes and I drink so much alcohol and get so drunk. Plus I ate some peanuts. Then yesterday I had a bag of crisps.

I'm so disappointed in myself and am literally dreading weighing in tomorrow now. I always do this to myself. I always sabotage myself with alcohol and junk food. I know it was only a few peanuts and one bag of crisps. The old me would have guzzled far more than that. But I'm still gutted.

I'll just have to hope that perfect Slimming World eating today and tomorrow can remedy what I've done.


Friday, 29 January 2010

Getting the hang of it

My second week of Slimming World is going well. Really well. I feel like I actually understand what I'm supposed to be eating now (I confess I didn't really read the books last week due to being so busy) and, more importantly, what I'm not supposed to be eating.

Breakfasts have been super healthy. I went to Marks & Spencer on Tuesday and stocked up on loads of yummy strawberries, raspberries and grapes. I've been having those and a chopped up granny smith apple, with a pot of Shape fat free yoghurt on top. It takes me ages to eat so, by the time I'm finished, I'm full! FYI, fruit has never ever filled me up in my life before.

I think the main thing I've come to realise with SW is that I need to change not only what I eat, but the way I eat. I've always been an incredibly fast eater. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Slowing down and taking the time to chew properly means that I'm actually full by the time I finish my meal so I don't go foraging for snacks that I don't really need. Win win situation.

I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since last Friday either so I think that's part of the reason why I'm feeling much less bloated than I did a couple of weeks ago. I'm not saying that I'm going to give up alcohol entirely (mainly because that would be a BIG FAT LIE) but I am cutting back dramatically. I am off to my friend N's tomorrow for drinks and DVDs but I'm going to stick to gin and slimline tonic. I've saved up a fair few syns so far this week so hopefully a few gins won't sabotage my weigh in too much!

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Weigh In #1

I'm a little disappointed with my loss this week. As it was my first week I was hoping for around 5 pounds but it wasn't to be. Then again, two meals out and some birthday cake on Sunday were always going to hold me back slightly so maybe I should be extremely happy with 3.5!

I really enjoyed the group meeting last night. I got talking to a couple of ladies and had a few laughs with them, mainly about the number of syns in a pasty. Which is a devastating amount, fyi. My first impression of SW? Everyone is bloody lovely! Noone judges you, even if you've put on weight (as a few people had), everyone congratulates you for even the smallest loss and it's just really really... nice. Which is nice.

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 223.5 pounds
Weight Loss This Week: 3.5 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

83.5 pounds to go. Eek!

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

BK, no way

Tonight is my first weigh in.

I'm actually feeling quietly confident. I've been good as gold the last few days and I'm currently tucking into raspberries, strawberries and grapes. I think I'm going to have my dinner after the meeting too, for maximum effect. I'll try not to do what my friend does after every Slimming World meeting as she goes to KFC/the chippy/Pizza Hut as a reward.

Food has always been a reward for me. I've always used it to celebrate something if something great has come my way or console myself it something bad has happened ("I've had such a rubbish day, I deserve that pizza AND those crisps AND that chocolate bar"). That's the main thing that I'm trying to change this time round. I'm an emotional eater and I think tackling the reasons behind my eating will enable me to finally lose the weight I've always wanted to.

Example? I had a really bad day on Sunday. I drove my parents to Liverpool for them to spend the night in a fancy hotel (for my beloved pop's birthday). My ex lives in Liverpool and I had to drive past the end of the road he used to live down. The road that contains the house that contains 18 months worth of ridiculously happy memories. Memories that I can't let go of. After I dropped my parents off I started to cry. I had a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach. I cried all the way down the motorway, resolving to go to Burger King to make myself feel better. But when I got to the turn off I needed I drove past. I drove home. And I had a lean steak with peas and two slices of Weight Watchers bread. And no alcohol.

I think that's the first time I've actually denied myself junk food in a situation like that.

I'm really quite proud of myself. Small steps and all that.

Sunday, 24 January 2010

Honesty is the best policy

I started this blog to document my weight loss 'journey' (ha, I sound like I'm on X Factor) so I might as well be honest here.

I kind of slipped up a little bit on Thursday and Friday. I had a couple of glasses of wine on Thursday night, plus didn't choose as healthily as I could have done at the restaurant. Friday night was my Dad's birthday celebrations and we went out for a curry. I saved my syns all day so it probably wasn't as naughty as it could have been but I still ate too much of the wrong sorts of things. Plus I had a couple of beers.

However I feel like I've got it all out of my system now and I can't see myself slipping up again any time soon. I was on an all night shift at the charity I volunteer for after the curry and I think I'd have been utterly starving if I hadn't eaten so much. So I'm not allowing myself to feel guilty about it. Besides, I've been super strict with myself since then and have had no syns at all. Fingers crossed I'll have got away with it when weigh in time comes!

Thursday, 21 January 2010

You've lost that hungry feeling...

Well, I haven't actually. Not quite. But I am a lot less hungry than I normally am. And, in a perverse sort of way, I'm actually enjoying the slight hunger that I am feeling. It feels like I'm in control of my eating for the first time in months, possibly years.

I'm only on Day 2 but already I feel slimmer. I know that it's probably just psychological and that, in reality, I can't possibly be slimmer after a couple of days. But, for me, the psychological aspect of dieting is the real obstacle. I have to feel like it's working or I give up.

I'll have to face my first real challenge tonight as I'm off out for dinner with my lovely friend N. I've been looking at the menu online and I think there are quite a few things that shouldn't use up too many syns (still hate that word). I'm going to try and stay away from alcohol but if I do end up with a glass of sauvignon blanc in my hand then I'm going to make sure it's just the one, and not beat myself up too much about it.

My problem has always been that I've crumbled after the slightest hiccup. I'd have a biscuit or a piece of cheese and then think 'oh that's it for the day then, it's ruined, i might as well eat myself out of house and home'. This time if I do slip up (and I'm sure I will) I'm going to give myself a kick up the bum and get right back on the wagon.

PMA and all that.

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

The first day of the rest of my life?

I sure as hell hope so!

I've read the Slimming World book from cover to cover, trying to get my head around 'super free foods', 'free foods', 'healthy extras' and the dreaded 'syns'. Just a small point, why not just call them 'sins'. Changing one letter doesn't make them any better for you or any less naughty! Words spelt differently from their correct form just happen to be one of my pet hates. 'Nite', anyone? Ugh.

Anyway, putting my ISSUES WITH BAD SPELLING aside, I'm feeling pretty positive. Of course, I ate my usual Oat So Simple porridge before realising that it equates to 6.5 syns. Weep. 6.5 precious syns used up on breakfast cereal. Ugh. Still, I've been fairly good apart from that so far. I had some crystalised ginger (4 syns) but everything else I've eaten has been free or super free.

One question though, how on earth can 28g of walnuts be 9.5 syns?!?!

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Fat Fighters

Tonight was my first Slimming World meeting. I did it. I walked into the building, paid my money and faced my biggest fear... being weighed in public. And noone laughed. Noone pointed at me for being fat. Noone made me feel two feet tall or ugly or whale-like.

Walking into that room was honestly one of the most frightening things that I've ever done, and I've done some fairly scary things in my time. But the people were lovely. Truly lovely. I almost started crying whilst Kerrie, the meeting leader, was talking. Everything she said resonated with me. Everything she said about how she used to feel (she was over 18 stone when she started) made me realise how unhappy I've really been with my weight for a long time.

I've never written publicly about my weight, about how much I weigh or about how unhappy I truly am with the way I look. I guess that's what this blog's all about, to house all the thoughts I can't bear to put on my other blog.

So, I suppose I might as well start as I mean to go on...

Starting Weight: 227 pounds
Current Weight: 227 pounds
Target Weight: 140 pounds

Let's do this.

Episode 1: The Fatty Strikes Back

I remember the day I realised I was fat. Like, really fat. Not just a couple of pounds overweight. Or even a couple of stone overweight. No, almost six stone overweight. It hit me like a blinding revelation, like a slap to the face. I was fatter than I'd ever realised. I'd been deluding myself for years, convincing myself that I carried myself well, that I was well proportioned, that I couldn't possibly weigh as much as the scales told me I did.

It turns out that I'd become so skilled at these delusions that I didn't even notice the pounds creeping on, the shortness of breath or the steadily growing pile of clothes in the corner of the room that I could no longer fit my ever-expanding thighs into.

The day I realised I was fat was nearly four months ago and what have I achieved in that time? Precisely, predictably nothing. Because that's always been my modus operandi. Burying my head in the sand and telling myself daily that 'I'll start tomorrow'. Well guess what, fatty? Tomorrow never comes.

So today is Day 1.

I'm joining Slimming World tonight. Finally. I've been telling myself (and everyone else) that I'm going to go for weeks. I've used every excuse you can think of to get out of it. Snow, illness, the class being cancelled (it wasn't).

For the first time in my life, I'm out of excuses.