Friday, 23 September 2011

Getting my head back in the game!

I know. I know. Two posts in a week! Don't fall off your chairs in shock now will you.

So, after almost 9 months of the Slmming World game (give or take a few good weeks that were very few and very far between) I rejoined two weeks ago. Rejoine with good intentions but, sadly, a a distinct lack of willpower. It was like I'd... forgotten how to do it. I couldn't think of a single meal that I wanted to eat that didn't include takeaway, chips or cheese. Just cheese. Big blocks of cheese. Not 28g of the stuff.

So, for two weeks I carried on the way I had been going for the majority of this year. And that way was to the kebab shop/pizza delivery/crisp aisle. Until Monday. When I looked in the mirror after I got home from work and hated what I saw. And I mean really hated. To the extent that I cried my eyes out. I looked bloated, unwell, my skin was blotchy and dry, even my eyes looked dull and devoid of life. And I knew then that it was the junk that was making me feel this way.

I've always been an emotional eater. When life goes tits up, I reach for the crisps. Or the burgers. Or the fried chicken. Even though I know that it makes me feel awful afterwards, I still do it. How messed up is that?

So, I vowed to stop it. Just as I had in January last year. And I went back to my group on Tuesday, to be greeted with another 4 pound gain. But, to be honest, I'm lucky it wasn't so much more, with all the rubbish I've been eating. No Helen, two baguettes for lunch is not acceptable. Neither is two bags of crisps.

In a way I'm deeply ashamed that I slipped back into the old eating habits that I fought so hard to kick. I was right back there, complusively eating everything I could find, even though it was making me feel awful and I wasn't even enjoying it. It was eating for the sake of it. No, scratch that, it was bingeing. However, in another way, I'm glad it's given me a kick up the backside to get back to where I was this time last year. 100% Slimming World and happy and proud of myself.

Because since Tuesday I've been utterly, completely, 100% on plan. And I can't see it changing any time soon. Something in my head has shifted again and I'm so pleased. Now I think about syns, whereas before I'd just eat whatever I wanted. I think about new meals I can make and how to make them completely syn free. I'm enjoying eating healthily again, because I know how good it makes me feel.

It's so good to be back.


leddy said...

Delighted to have you back!! Great to hear it. Need to find my way back myself before I have to dig out the elasticated trousers!!

confusedinbristol said...

Well done for getting back to the plan! I've been having the same difficulty of life not being great and comfort eating.
Now that my inspiration's back, maybe I can get back on plan too! ;)

Hope your week has continued this well :)